We arrived at a magnificent new (Chinese paid for) concrete cruise ship wharf in Nuku’alofa, Tonga, with a point blank view of the old Royal Palace.

It was a special day … the opening of parliament by the King. If you look closely you will see all the school kids turned out on the lawns in front of the Palace to greet the King.

The timing couldn’t have been better. We walked off the ship, straight into the crowds waiting for the event at 10:30. Kids everywhere, all turned out in their special uniforms. And, what was probably the whole Tongan navy “on guard” outside Parliament House. That’s Parliament House, with the red roof, looking a bit like a country church hall!

The king arrived, stayed about 10 minutes, and left again. (Very efficient!). That’s him, bare headed, getting into his Mercedes van after the opening! He drove right past us and waved.

Whilst we were standing around in the crowd (not a policeman with a gun in sight!), we got talking to a friendly local. Actually, they’re all friendly.

“Wanna take a tour of the island?”
“Thanks, but we’ve hired an Avis Car.”
“Don’t worry about that. People forget to turn up all the time. I’ll take you for the same money.”
Pause … whilst the King arrived …

“So, are you are a security guard?”
“Nah, I just have that written on my shirt … makes you feel safe. Ha ha.”
We warmed to him …
“I’m Geoff, what’s your name?”
“Neil”
“Really?”
“Neil Armstrong.”
“You’re kidding.”
“Nah. I was born the day Armstrong landed on the moon, so my dad named me after him.”
Hmmm …

“You got a good car?”
“Real good mate, big, a Mazda van thing.”
We were convinced.

So after a haggle over the price, and sorting out just what currency we were talking in, we ploughed off through the crowd, ignoring all the attempts by some to control members of the crowd like us, and found Neil’s van.
Hmmmm … pretty special … 30+ years old, rust, one headlight, duct tape, paint peeling off, middle seats missing, flattened cardboard boxes for floor covering, no upholstery – seats covered with bedding, badly cracked (passenger side) windscreen, one wiper only for the driver, and wooden wedges to hold the side windows up beacuse the winders had long since busted. Not to worry. In we got, and it started and ran like a Mazda. Perfect!!

Off we went. The boys in front, and Jan lounging in the back like the queen of Tonga.

… we visited Tonga’s mysterious “stonehenge” … even Neil and some mates would have had difficulty with these 40 tonners …

… then to the south coast for some serious offroading through long grass

… to where the coast is not protected by a reef and the swell pounds the cliffs …

… at one place we drove (well bounced really) past a huge hole where a cave roof had collapsed, and very tentatively peered in …

… then a rare secluded little beach …

But then we had the feed the man …

… at beautiful Keleti beach … great for looking, not great for surfing …

Then to a spot famous for blowholes, where we got quite close up and personal with the wild sea.

…and to another beach for lovers (according to Neil) … not much sand here, just lots of sharp coral and rocks waiting to shred your feet.

And so, after a great day (despite the persistant rain showers on the cracked windscreen with no wiper on my side!), Neil dropped us back near the Royal Palace. We spotted one sleepy guard near this gate, but no problem sticking the iPhone through the fence for a close-up of the grand old building.

Tonga is obviously a very poor place. Tourism and overseas remittances from relatives sustain it, apparently. We saw some very poor villages, lots of degenerating cars and buildings, many vacant houses. Farming with 50+ year old tractors is very basic in the amazingly fertile soils.

Sad really, but Tongans all seem so cheerful.